BOYS??MEN??LOVE??

Huargghhh..I think I’m getting fed-up with all this feeling-feeling situation..”angol” is the best word that I could say to what is getting into my life now..and I’m not ready to have any false-wasting time-fake relationship now except marriage..(haha, so demanding)..It’s about 14 month until now I had been left out and I’m still hurt and a lonesome…erk, not really a lonesome coz I got all my beloved friends whose always standing besides me whenever I need them..Thanks gurls..I’m glad to know all of u..But since then, I start thinking that if there’s a good man outside there who would accept me with who I really am and never ever left me alone again???I think that all man are the same..The only different from their own personality, principal, jobs, of course face but somehow, it’s really hard to find those who is really sincere..who never make woman especially me as a “fill in the blanks” thing..who should feel enough when he had already me..Once i meet a guy who heal me, give me laugh. Teach me how to smile again, help me through difficult times and suddenly he changed Because he already heal from the past and he doesnt need me anymore so he change. He gives me hope and one second he leave me in a limbo. And i will stuck in the middle, to wait or to let go. Oh i wish it's easy to make such decision. And then people keep judging me. Talking behind my back. And I start hating MYself for being so fragile and weak. I always say that “laki betul2 lelaki sekarang memang susah nak cari..adapun pondan..yang tough2 and good looking we doesn’t know whether thay were straight or gay…uhuk2” and mostly man that I met nowadays has their own girlfriend..Rarely of them were single..and if it’s like that so, I think I got no chance to feel that feeling again coz as we all know, the nisbah of man now are 1:3 with women. That’s make many of the man take this opportunity to have wives until 4..this is fact and we are really umat akhir zaman…And I’m not ready to share my beloved man with someone else..huhu..
Hurm, let we get back with what’s I’m start mumbling from the beginning..aha!!to “h” and “f”, I’m happy for both of you..i’m praying for the best with your chosen one..to “s”..thanks for making me as the “fill in the blanks” person until you meet someone else n most of all, thanx for treating me as I'm a bad friend for your entire life. And for “I”..I’m really not ready either to meet you or to contact you or being your friend because u betrayed me not just once but so many times..just go away and find someone else to live with.. I may look bad since your family know me but I had to protect myself and I had my own pride..to all man that comes to my life, just go away!!!!and leave me alone!!!!U HURT ME…

p/s aku sdar yg aku bknnya bek mana pon tp da malas nk mnta maaf kat lelaki coz it's a fact..mmg xsmua prngai mcm boyak tp most of them mmg xbley hrp pun..i need NO comment n advices pliz coz i'm really dissappointed now