Life

~Sometimes you have to forget what you want to remember what you deserved~


~In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away~

Tersenyumlah Wahai Hati Yang Bersedih. !

Life Is Too Shorrt To Regret

Assalammualaikum..

hello there..long time no see..he..juz being too busy handling with life management and life problems. he..i owez wanted to share things here but i'm always aware of readers and their heart. I am afraid that everything that i might share here will hurt others especially those who knows me.

But today, i think tht i would like to share here. Di awal kalam, I just want to apologize if any words here would make anyone rasa kecik hati n saya betul2 minta maaf. I just dunno how to use word perfectly and I try my best to explain my thought.

2012..It's really a though year especially for me. My last semester in Batu Lintang, my last chance to meet my friends becoz after this, life will b different. Semua orang akan menebarkan sayap masing-masing ke tempat yang telah ditetapkan dan mula menyebarkan ilmu Allah yang telah diajarkan oleh para pensyarah di maktab kepada anak bangsa. 2012 adalah tahun where i met again with my old fren. We once become someone that really close with each other but mungkin kerana perhubungan yang dipinjamkan oleh Allah terhenti buat saat ketika dulu membuatkan kami perselisihan faham n putus perhubungan dan kini, Januari 2012.. dia telah kembali. Truly said that i'm really nerveous bout this situation bcoz i am not sure how i should handle everything. Until now, we've oredy met but bukan perhubungan macam dulu lagi but dalam istilah "rakan platonik". Actually this is very very very hard for me coz the feeling is so much different. It's really hard for me smpai ada satu tahap, I feel that macam rasa nak jatuh terjelepuk di lantai jak. I'm not kidding but I truly had this hard feeling. It's a complicated situation where I have to separate "that" feeling with "friend" feeling in order to tidak melebihi boundries sbagai seorang kawan. Kadang-kadang i admit that i owez being over the boundries coz as a woman, i can't deny those feeling n being close with sum1 who's once ur heart belong to is not as easy as ABC. I realized that Allah is now testing me becoz Allah knows that I can handle this situation smartly. InsyaAllah. Allah didn't give the obstacle that would really burden me in physically but this really burden my feeling. It may look so easy for sum1 outside there saying bout my problem here. People may say that i'm idiot coz cannot handle with this situation but for me, it's not. maybe i'm juz too weak, 2 soft-hearted and 2 forgiving that make people easily scratching my feeling. Yes, it's true that he is my strength yet he is also my weakness. He makes my day but he also the one who make me cry a lot. Kebelakangan ni, our friendship become more worsen due to my PMS, busy life as a student and lack conversation between us. But actually the more we contact each other, the more tidak persefahaman that we get. That's make me realize that I think I should stop this feeling. I remember the day I accept him as a friend, niat saya hanyalah satu iaitu kami berkawan kerana Allah Taala. Everytime I remember this, I stay calm and bcome more reliable. I really respect him as a man and as a good friend. I try my best to be his best friend although i know tht he treated me macam pandang sebelah mata jak. I admit that I'm not a really gud friend but from day to day, I realize that I should treat people as good as I could even my heart ache. I become matured day by day. Yes, I think a lot and I have a lot of questions in my head but I try to keep it by myself. I try to comfort myself with Al-Quran because I know that from one article that I have read, if u want Allah to talk with you, read the holy Al-Quran. Actually I gather strength from reading Al-Quran. I dun want to be a bad servant of Allah, whom searching Allah when only I needed Him the most but I want to be His loyal servant.I knew that I can't gave too much but at least I try. I try to keep my relationship between me and Allah good and I also I try to maintain good relationship between my friends. That's why, everyday,before I go to bed and after I woke up from bed, I'll say I forgive everyone and try my best to make everyone around me happy. My friend, if I ever made you kecil hati or even seeing my face make you feel annoyed, I ask forgiveness as I'm just a normal person. I made mistakes all the time, pliz forgive me. But deep inside my heart I love my friend so much. So, in this situation, I dunno but I feel very kecik hati dengan things that he do especially his treat towards me. Maybe he has a problem but why most of the time I'm being treated like ..hurm, not a friend, instead (in a proper wordla). Jarang skali I get a reply message or being treated nicely. I admit that sumtimes I make him annoyed but pliz dun treat me like I'm always wrong and you are always right all the time. Do you really act like that in front of everyone that you know or it's just me? Am I that annoyed to you? If yes, pliz, I beg, pliz forgive me n if ever i knew things will become like this, I try my best to ignore you since you came to Kuching; so that I wont disturb your life. I admit that it's hard to understand me but actually me myself is also hard to understand myself either. You also say once that you know that it wont be easy between us but you just want to try. At that time, I believe you but why so sudden you give up in evrything?

Hurm, If i want, I can easily blame you for everything. But,I'm not like that. My parents never teach me to treat people badly and I learn that I should treat people as best as I could. When people treat me badly, i try myself to be patient. I cry by myself and I comfort myself by saying that it's ok. Allah is always be with me. I am a person who get really rasa bersalah dengan setiap tindakan yang saya rasakan it's not proper. That's why, I try my best to treat my friends as gud as I can because I dun want to regret later and I dun want my friend remember me as a bad Sharmimi. I just want my friends to have a memory where I want the best for them n not the one who they dun want to meet again later. So, for him, although he treat me macam endah x endah, xpala. sbb nya yang mnta kami jadi kawan balik lepas sampai Kuching. Saya akan cuba jadi kawan yang betul-betul kawan dan bukan kawan waktu senang sahaja. It's ok if he treat me like a rubbish coz I wont lose anyhing. Saya xmo suatu hari kelak saya akan rasa menyesal sbb layan orang macam ya n saya akan terima seadanya cara dia layan saya sebab itu adalah haknya untuk layan seorang kawan dengan caranya tersendiri. Bagi saya, selagi saya mampu, saya akan layan kawan saya dengan baik sebab saya mahu, jika kami sudah kembali ke tempat masing-masing nanti, saya ingin diingati sebagai seorang yang disenangi dan bukan sebagai seorang rakan yang patut dihindari. i just want him to remember that he once has a great friend in Sarawak. I've been in that situation before where people say I am a bad person at the back and I just dun want everyone know me with that perspective again. I'm not being "macam berlagak baikla sangat.." now but I just trying to comfort myself. I know mayb sum of my friend may say that serve me right because bodoh mok kawan balit ngn him and now, tengokla i've been hurt again. It's ok dear coz u're not really in my shoe~wif my personality and wif my life review of seeing everything. I dun need anyone to support me in this case but it's ok if it just me, myself and Allah knew/ understand things that I do for my life and my friends. I knew life is short and with every little thing that happens in everyone's life didn't make it right for us to treat others bad@ like just the way you want. If you think that people shouldn't do like that to you, dun just easily judge them. People usually had their own reason why they act like that and better let time decide everything. Sebaik-baiknya dalam setiap perbuatan yang kita lakukan, letakkan niat kerana Allah Taala. ~And that's I'm doing right now~ I'm saying like this not for blaming anyone but for my own awareness too. for him and for my friends who read this, it's really hard for me to keep away those feeling actually but i will try my best to take it easy and handle them maturely. Awak, I know that xlamak agik pun ya.Pastok kita da bawa haluan masing-masing :) Kita xkan temu lagi kot, so dun worry..Saya belum jumpa agik bnyak orang that's why it's hard 4 me 2 ignore u. I'm sorry if ever you read this( if la) and this luahan hati make u feel really humiliated again, pliz tell me.

I do hope that I will find my pemilik tulang rusuk yang sebenar-benarnya suatu hari kelak. Saya xminta suami yang hensem@kaya raya@perfect but cukuplah bagi saya sekiranya dia faham dan terima saya seadanya,, dia layan saya mengikut hak yang sebetulnya dan dia bertanggungjawab ke atas kehidupan kami sekeluarga di dunia dan di akhirat sana. Pendek kata, ada ciri2 mcm bapak saya!! :) Cukuplah ini pengalaman perit yang saya penah rasa bila bercinta sebelum berkahwin. But If ever jodoh saya sudah kembali ke pangkuan Allah sebelum saya sempat menemuinya, cukuplah bagi saya Allah, keluarga, sahabat dan anak didik yang tercinta:)

Astaghfirullahalazim, segala yang baik datang daripada Allah dan segala yang buruk datang daripada kekhilafan saya sendiri.

:'(

I juz think that i better give up..i'm juz tired..it's true that not everything that u love is gud for u n not everything tht u hate is bad for u..i realized... it's better for me to let it go...go..n far far far away..

~i wish I had a DELETE button in my life,to delete somebody,some memories & some feelings..~

Tae Yeon - Can You Hear Me Feat. Seo Hyun - English & Korean Lyrics.flv

Even small pains make me teary
My heart cries out
When i pass by you
You are the whole world
i dream for only you
i hold my breath in front of you

just like you and i aren’t meant to be
just like it’s merely a moment passing by
You pass by me so easily
Even if i can’t go up
and take just a step

You make me walk around
You make me cry
Like an idiot, like a child
Just laugh it off

The closer i get
More scared i get
But this love cannot be stopped

Why is it just my love that is slow
Why is it just my love that is hard
Even if i’m by your side
You are the whole world
i look at only you
i stare into distance in front of you

Just like you’re the end for me
Just like you’re my last moment
You pass by me so easily
Even if i can’t go up
and take just a step

You make me walk around
You make me cry
Like an idiot,like a child
Just laugh it off

The closer i get
Morescared i get
But this love cannot be stopped

From far away
if i can stare at you just for a moment
That is love

When this waiting and yearning
Gets you, and you can hear it
Just pretend nothing happened
The closer i get to you more scared i get
But this love cannot be stopped

~The further I turn away so as to forget you
The more I miss you, What can I do~

Sami Yusuf - Make Me Strong with lyrics - سامي يوسف - اجعلني قويا

Aku terlalu cemburu...

AKU TERLALU CEMBURU

Aku cemburu padamu yang selalu khusyuk dalam setiap sujud panjangmu..
Aku cembur...u padamu yang selalu meluangkan waktu untuk menghisab dirimu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang tak letih menghayati setiap bacaan Al'quranmu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang setiap malam membasahi sajadahmu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang tak kenal lelah dalam berjuang..
Aku cemburu padamu yang selalu sungguh-sungguh dalam setiap amanahmu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang selalu dapat menjaga lisanmu..

Aku cemburu padamu yang selalu dapat menjaga matamu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang selalu dapat menjaga hatimu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang selalu bersahaja dalam keseharianmu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang selalu tersenyum disaat susah dan senangmu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang tak pernah berubah saat kau dipuji ataupun dicaci..
Aku cemburu padamu yang hafal Al'quran dan bersikap seperti diajarkan dalam Al'quran.
Aku cemburu padamu yang cinta akhirat namun tak melupakan duniamu..
Aku cemburu padamu yang mencintai orang tuamu melebihi dirimu sendiri..
Aku cemburu padamu yang selalu bermanfaat bagi orang lain..
Aku cemburu….
Benar-benar cemburu….
Tapi aku hairan,,kenapa kamu selalu cemburu kepadaku?
Aku ingin sepertimu,,namun kamu ingin sepertiku...
Tapi ingatlah...
Ini bukan hal yang negatif...
Jika kita berpikir positif,,maka ini adalah hal yang positif

Semoga kita saling MEMOTIVASI...
Saling CEMBURU untuk merebut perhatian pemilik CINTA ini...
Mudah-mudahan kita memperoleh CINTA itu...
Dan bertemu lagi,,dengan muka yang BERSERI di tempat yang ABADI.......